Christmas Eve ♥

圣诞节快乐~
不晓得大家是怎么渡过这一个浪漫又充满意义的日子呢？
想必一定是很开心吧？
哈哈
我是怎么度过的呢？
在这里跟大家分享一下~
erm...
24.12.2010 ♥
今天，跟dear到他朋友家~在他朋友家barbeque~我们很早就到了~因为要帮忙准备东西~我也没帮上什么忙~只是帮他们炸薯条和nuget~一直到了晚上，才开始我们的烧烤会~搞笑的是，明明说了7点开始~可是7点却不见人的踪影吧~不管那么多了~肚子饿死了~我们自己先吃吧~到了8点多9点朋友才开始来~可那时候我们都已经吃饱了~让他们自己慢慢烧吧~哈哈~吃完东西，就喝酒咯~可是我没喝啦~也不知道几点了，dear和我才回家~累死了~说真的，我是觉得有点闷啦~因为跟他们都不熟~算啦~回家就呼呼大睡咯~

25.12.2010 ♥
今天，睡到不知道几点才起床啦~然后就是在家看戏睡觉度过这个圣诞节~超超超超闷的啦~haizzz~

Home Sweet Home ♥

Din go to work... Nothing to do in my dear house... Haizzz... BORED!!! What to do... Hey... LOng time din back home dy... How about back to Pahang? Good idea man... Haha~ Wake my dear up then asked him back with me~ I love you my dear...Wahahahaha... wake up prepared everything then waited his father to fetch us to KTM station... Reach Titiwangsa at 2.30pm... 2.30pm de bus... SAy bye bye to Kl loo... Hehe... 2.30pm we get in the bus lo... Yeah~ Excited excited excited~~~ Haha~ In the bus my dear want sleep but i dun let him sleep... I asked him to took picture with me... Keep took... Non-stop... Haha^^Actually I'm not that bad la... I still let my dear sleep la... Coz he really very tired dy...Big mouth boy ><

A lot of photo we had took... I had upload on my facebook~ Have a look on my facebook ba^^ Hehe...

5.30pm... Finally... Reach destination... Bandar Pusat Jengka... Not yet reach my home la... Haha~ Dun so nervous la... Be patient... Hehe ^^ Wait for my brother come and fetch me back home... Just awhiloe... my brother reach dy~ Oh yeah~ Cant wait reach my home~

Wuuuuu... Reach home le lo... Happy happy happy~Oh my beloved bed... my room... my house... my friends~ I'M BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!(=.=)

At night, me n my dear having dinner with my dad n mum... Then we go KTV~ My biao jiu treat us beer~ thank you biao jiu^^ Play until 1am only back home~ Back home then sleep... Night word~

The next day... Dear wake up late... No breakfast time... Skip to lunch... Haha~ Pai Kuat Fan... Not bad... I like it la... Dun know my dear like or not... Haha~Then night go out yam cha with myb fren... My frens so funny la wei... Can't stop laughing @@ Hahahhahaha~Then go out lo....

Third Day... Nothing to do dy... So we stay at home playing computer and my dear played ps... Play until sot jor... Haha~ Then 4pm... Go to bus stop... Back KL lu... Bye bye my home, my hometown n my fren... BYE BYE~~~~ 7.30pm reach KL then 9 something only reach Kajang...

Happy to meet my friends n my family... Hehe^^

work@KLCC- Pikom PC Fair

Haha~ I'm back~ Actually want to post on last few day but lazy to type so now only share with u all now^^
RM90/day + commission... Interest? Not really... But no choice... No money already so dun choose work... At least I get the money~ Hehe
10.12-first day work... This is the first time I work in PC Fair~ Excited excited excited~ Wee~ Okay... First day work... What can I say is STUPID COMPANY!!! I'm selling Samsung Laptop... Hard sell for it but nobody want buy from me :'( You know WHY? Because it is SAMSUNG!!! Samsung laptop not good~ This is what i heard from customer~ So sad~ Dun care so much~ Just do my best~ 9pm... 0 laptop i can sold out~ My throat was pain like hell~ WT*!!!What make me angry is the supervisor is SUCK!!! He asked us what is the problem with us? Why we can sell any laptop? Hey... my problem? Customer dun want buy ur laptop then what can I do? Use a knife and force them? Crazy~ Customer dun buy ur laptop u should think urself~ We hard sell it for what? Do u think i care the RM90? Yes... Actually I care~ But now... I dun care~ Work so hard for what? We get anything? Ya... We get SCOULD from you!!! Say until my throat pain also not use! Waste my time... Shit You!!!
11.12- You think I dun want work? No... Actually my throat pain like helll and not feeling well so din go to work~ Rest in my dear house... Slept until 5pm... My dear's mum knock the door then ask me go up eat something... cooked Maggi~ Finished eat then wait for my dear come back~
12.12- My dear and I also not going to work~ Why? The stupid supervisor said,"If u think u cant do this job, can't sell laptop, dun waste time... Just stay at home and dun come to work... Salary I will still give to u... That's all... Dun waste time..." Ok.. LCLY!!! See how la... all of us din go to work although is the last day~ Give him a supprise~ Supprise? Hehe... We so bad o >.<

18岁生日-8.12.2010

生日快乐~终于等到今天了~我的生日~我十八岁了咯~
一早，dear就去准备早餐给我吃了~准备好后便叫我起床吃东西咯~谢谢dear~吃了东西，在客厅看戏咯~看了整天~一直到了晚上，我才跟dear的朋友去21st century喝茶~其实我的dear是想给我惊喜~在那边帮我庆祝生日~谢谢我的dear~我爱你~muacks~
其实在dear做这一切之前，我的知觉都已经在告诉我了~包括你骗我说上楼帮妹妹弄东西，其实是在为我准备生日礼物~你跟我说晚上跟朋友去喝茶，其实是帮我庆祝生日~这一切都在我预料之中~谢谢你为我用心良苦~我真的很开心~
除此之外，也谢谢通过facebook和电话祝福我的朋友们~谢谢你们~真的很谢谢你们~

今年的生日，我很开心~多年以来的心愿，今年终于实现了~今年以前的生日，我都希望心爱的人陪在我身边~我希望可以跟自己喜欢的人一起过是生日~终于，在我十八岁生日这一年实现了~真的很开心~

我十八岁了~说大不大，说小不小~而今年的生日愿望~我有点贪心~我许了三个愿望~

第一，我希望我的家人朋友都可以开开心心，健健康康的过每一天~
第二，我希望我跟朋友们的关系比以前更好~
第三，我希望我可以跟我的dear永远在一起~

这次的愿望，我把家人和朋友放在第一和第二~而悬着把自己心爱的人放在第三~我想说，我希望我的家人和朋友知道，我恋爱后并没有把你们都遗忘~朋友们，对不起~我知道我恋爱后就很少跟你们联络，甚至交谈~很对不起~我并不是故意的~请你们原谅~还有，之前有什么做错的东西，令你们不开心的事~我在这里诚心道歉~真的很对不起~也要告诉我心爱的人~我不是不注重你而把娘在第三~哈哈~亲爱的~不用我说，你一定可以了解吧~我爱你~哈哈~

今年的生日~我又哭了~但是不是因为伤心而哭~我因为感动，开心，所以才掉眼泪~哈哈~原谅我是个爱哭包~嘻嘻~很谢谢我的“前夫”Jeff和我的“儿子”Kah How打电话来祝我生日快乐~你们打来的时候我超感动的~害我在makmak档那边哭~paiseh啦~哈哈~你们的心意我收到啦~谢谢~

还有就是要谢谢我的妈妈~妈咪~谢谢你~谢谢你在这一天辛苦的把我生下来~谢谢你对我的呵护和照顾~谢谢你给我最好的教育~谢谢你的为我所做的一切~也对不起妈咪~以前我很坏~很不听话~以前的我总是觉得你很偏心~比较疼弟弟和妹妹~很讨厌我~因为你什么都要我做~然后很爱骂我~也时常打我~我那时候真的很讨厌你~每次跟你说话就是大大声的~很没有礼貌~因为我觉得你也很讨厌我~还记得我小学六年级一毕业，你把我送去文德甲读书~那时候的我才十三岁~一直到你说要送我出去读书，我开心的不得了~因为不用再对着你~觉得自己自由了~可是，当我真的搬出去了~才发觉到，还是家里最好~在外面什么都要自己做~每当夜深人静的时候，我都会想家然后自己在那边偷偷掉眼泪~很快的，一年过去了~我中二了~这次，你说要我去kl读书了~不要在文德甲了~原因是你怕我不会照顾自己，你怕我被人欺负~在文德甲这一年里，我被别人欺负过~被班上的同学笑我，说我像外星人，说我很丑~老师要我们交功课，有人把我的作业都擦了~害我被老师骂~但是还好老师明白事理~会查个究竟~过后才发觉有人陷害我~伤者克的时候，我被班上的其中一位同学作弄~他把浆糊倒在我的头发上~那时候，家里没水来~我打电话给你~我哭了~我想回家了~不想在那边了~被朋友欺负过一年~也算了~去到kl，住在阿姨家~很没自由~那里也不能去~每天都是上学，回家，补习~除了没自由，还要时常被表弟和表妹欺负~每次打给你，我都是哭着跟你说，我要回家~我不要在这里~可是你只是叫我忍耐~那时候的我感到很无助，所以每次自己躲在被窝里哭~终于让我熬过了四年~我终于毕业了~一直到现在,我也明白你为什么把我送出去读书了~你要我独立~谢谢你对我的用心良苦~我爱你~
哎哟~写写下才发觉自己写了那么多的废话~哈哈~不好意思哦~那就到此结束吧~谢谢大家那么有耐性读我的post~哈哈~
最后~祝我生日快乐~

考完试咯~

哈哈~
终于~
终于~
终于~
终于考完试了~
开心~
也放松了很多~
这几天啊~
真的是stress到~
我快疯了~
读书！读书！读书！
超累的咧~
今天考最后一科~
Principle of Management~
我最差的一科~
超怕的~
昨晚读书读到三点多才睡~
今天七早八早就被吵醒了~
讨厌~
人家要睡觉啦~
我不要去考试！！！！！！
到最后，还是起床去考试了~
到学校~
九点~
还早得很呢~
十点才开始考试~
把握时间~
把昨晚没读完的看一看~
快快快！！
读读读~
很快的~
要十点了~
惨了惨了惨了~
不是很会~
希望等下的问题不会太难~
好像哭哦~
准备好~
进考场咯~
超紧张的~
十点正~
开始开始了~
翻开考卷~
叹了一口气~
上天保佑啊~
读到的都有出~
还好还会回答~
嘻嘻~
时间一分一秒的过~
一个小时过去了~
终于~
我做完了~
只是有两题不会做~ =(
离开考场~
哇~
松了一口气啊~
哈哈~
终于完成了~

很快的~
我第二个semester就这样结束了~
真的不知不觉就过了~
该开心还是伤心好呢？
很快就要老一岁了~
很快就要迎接新的一年了~

短短几个月的时间~
可以改变的多东西~
譬如说~
我的朋友变了？
还是说我变了呢？
话题减少~
见到面也没什么说话~
是我的问题吗？
算了算了算了~
别想太多~
是自己多心了~

还有~
几个月~
我好像都没什么改变~
还是原本那个爱吵吵闹闹~
爱傻笑的我~
傻傻的你~（我的口头禅~）

哈哈~
这个星期就要搬家咯~
开心~
但是有点舍不得~
舍不得那边的朋友~
以后就不较少机会见面咯~
要保持联络哦~
哈哈~
我会想念你们的~

EXAM!!!

OH NO!!!
time gone very fast~ It's already the end of second semester~ and FINAL EXAM is COMING!!!
OH NO!!!!(again)
Let's share something about my second semester~
In this semester, something change~ My love story, my friend, my bla bla bla... A lot of things happen in this semester~
First, about my college life...
Second semester~ I need to study management, pastry, CRO, and com app...
4 subjects...
Management~ Very hard~need to work harder harder and harder because a lot of things need to memorize... And confuse with a lot of that... So... just hope i can pass the exam... And I always do my best to understand it...
Pastry~ Practical and theory~ Practical is ok for me because i like to baked cake~ but hate to wash all the things... everytime after pastry practical class, i need to wash the bowls that we used... Dun know why... But... NVM... It's already over... For theory class, GOSH~ I learn nothing~ u know y? because i dun like theory class and the lecturer is very bored~ She just read from slide~ She is showing thatt she know how to read~ Okay~ Know how to read but dun know how to explain... So... I always skip her class~ Im a bad student~ Wakakakaka~
CRO~ Practical and theory~ Service practical and kitchen practical~ like learn nothing~ just follow what they did~ Speechless~ For theory~ I still ok with it... Im not that bad right?
com app~ OH NO!!! I never enter this class also... Always skip class until the lecturer complain me~ too bad~ I hate this!!!! The reason y i skip this class is the lecturer is super super bored~ When he talking in front, i can fall asleep~ so better let me sleep in house or library so that i wont hurt him~ hahahahaha~
Oh ya... before forget... i resit EAP this semester~ Hope i can pass ><> Hahahaha~

害怕~

好心痛哦~ 痛痛痛痛痛~ 我是怎么了呢？ 知道他还把前女友的东西收着~ 怎么会有心酸的感觉？ 怎么我会想哭？ 之前都已经看过了啊~ 可是为什么？ 当我把那些信， 一封一封拆开读的时候~ 我会很想哭？ 怎么突然在害怕？ 他就在我身边啊~ 我在怕什么？ 看着他睡觉的样子~ 看着他在我身边~ 怎么我在害怕？ 为什么感觉怪怪的？ 他看了看我~ 问我什么事？ 怎么看起来怪怪的？ 我什么话也没有说~ 只是抱着他~ 摇摇头~ 表示没事~ 继续睡觉~ 抱着他~ 我的眼泪已经流了下来~ 为了不让她看见我在哭， 我用手遮着他的眼睛~ 他问我为什么不让他看我~ 我没回答~ 当他把我手拿开~ 我用很快的速度， 躲进他的怀里， 不让他看到我的眼泪~ 他把我的头抬起来~ 看到了我的眼泪~ 就一直追问我到底发生了什么事~ 我的眼泪停不了~ 他越是问~ 我越想哭~ 我说~ 我突然觉得很害怕~ 我害怕失去你~ 害怕你会离开我~ 害怕我们会分开~ 他看着我~ 把我抱在怀里， 对我说~ 傻婆~ 别在那边乱想了~ 不会的~ 以后的路我都会陪你走~ 好不好？ 我点点头~ 微笑了~

不知道为什么？ 我竟然会害怕失去你~ 很可笑~ 竟然短短的一个月~ 我会怕到在你面前流眼泪~ 这是我第一次， 为你掉眼泪~ 这是我第一次觉得这么害怕~ 莫名的害怕~ 即使我们现在是多么的幸福~ 即使我们多么地令旁人羡慕~ 即使我知道~ 你真的很疼我~ 我是真的感受到你的真心~ 我是真的知道~ 你爱我~ 我也知道~ 我自己有多爱你~

dear~ 真的可以做到吗？ 我真的不想再尝试失去的感觉了~ 我们要一起走下去~ 一直到最后~ 就一直这样好吗？

我不是什么都没有做

很奇怪一些人~
明明与他无关的事，
就是爱介入~
你要对号入座，
我没办法~
随便你怎么说~
I DUN CARE~
我说的是其他人~
不是全部~
我承认，
我用的词语是“全部”~
但我的意思并不是全部~
用错词，
让你误会，
我感到抱歉~

虽然我是每天对电脑~
但至少我有把自己的东西做好~
每次回到家~
地上的头发多到数不清~
我不是在说你~
也不是针对谁~
我知道你每次来的时候都会打扫~
只是我想说的是，
有用客厅的~
不是都应该扫一扫吗？
每次我扫地的时候，
你不在~
你看不到~
所以你会认为我什么都没做~
我也不需要故意在你面前扫地，
证明给你看我有打扫~
有没有打扫，
我自己很清楚~
所以，
不要以为我只是对着电脑什么都没做~
我做的时候只是你看不到~

lot of thing want to share ^^

hello friends~
I'm back ^^
hehe~
long time din update my blog le lo...
miss me?
hhhmmmm...
a lot of thing happen this few days but lazy to type so din share with you all...
sssOOORRRyyy~~~

first, talk about 9/11~
my brother, from singapore came back to malaysia.
he came KL with my best fren, Vicky and a girl name Samantha...
Actually my brother came to cut his hair and buy shirt...
Everytime he came sure find me out...
Haha~
My Serene aunty also came that day...
having lunch with Serene aunty, her friend and my dear Dannis at BBQ Plaza~
Before leave there, we gave some feedback to them....
All are bad things...
a lot of things need to improve expecially SERVICE~
Having dinner with Vicky, my brother, Serene aunty, Annie aunty, and her naughty daughter and son which are Yong Bao, and Yong Wei at Saga Mountain...
the steak there very nice and view also not bad~
After dinner, Sing K with my brother and Vicky at Neway~
Until 1am~
My dear Dannis come and fetch me back....
THANK YOU dear~ love you ^^

The next day,10/11
Having breakfast with Vicky and Samantha at Kim Gary~
After that, go for class lo...
Finished class,wait my dear finished work then back home lo...
And today~
TODAY~ TODAY~
10/11
1 month with my dear le lo...
BUT~
dear like forgot already...
A bit dissappointed...
and nothing special on that day~ :(

the next few day...
hhmmm...
Monday NO CLASS~
TUESDAY~
Hohohoho~
SERVICE PRACTICAL EXAM~
Full reservation~
BUSy BUSY bUSY~
Walao~
Tired o...
finally~
Operation finished~
PASS~
HURRAY~

WEDNESDAY
HOLIDAY~~~
Woke up at 12pm something~
having my breakfast + lunch~
PIZZAHUT~
nice nice~
then go cut my hair lo...
Then back homee~
Dinner then go Connaught Pasar Malam~
Back home then sleep~

THURSDAY
Again... Holiday~
Nothing to do...
Stay at home with dear~
Having lunch back to bed again~
Dinner time~
Suddenly someone call me and told me that Friday need to pass up Pastry Recipe Book~
OMG!!!
I havenn done yet~
And my good good good team member ask me pass up the assignment too chef!!
SHIT!!!
I already finished all things and email to u!
i ask u check and pass up to chef after do correction!
Now u ask me pass up to chef!
i F u!
continue with my recipe book~
dear gave me his recipe book~
So i just forward~
Check email~
OMG!!!
again~
What is this?
PM revision question~
Now only get it and need to discuss tomorow~
OMG!!!
No choice~
have to finished it~
Do the 11 question~
3 more questio to do...
My eyes cant open at all~
AIYA!!!
Do tomorrow~
Kept everything~
Go sleep~

Friday~
Finally friday~
after class and having dinner with my dear~
back to wangsa~
Walao~
Electric, water, tmnet, gas~
all need to pay~
Suddenly feel not worth~
I din use it also need to pay?
WTF!!!
Feel myself like water fish lo~
Din use also need to pay~
1 month 30 days~
oni the 2 or 3 days im at home~
but all the bills and rental still need to pay for it~
Never use also~
Haizzzz
MONEY MONEY MONEY!!!
I NEED MONEY!!!
NO MONEY :(

每个人都有过去

每个人都有过去~
你有~
我也有~
想问问，
有多少个人敢在自己喜欢的人面前说自己的过去？
即使是多么的不愉快～
多么的羞耻～
多么的坏～
又有多少人可以接受自己另一半的过去？
即使多么的不好～

你可以吗？
说真的，
有时候我自己也做不到～
因为爱他，
所以会在乎他的一切～
包括他的过去～
但这些在乎，
并不是知道了而让自己在那边生闷气～
而是让他不再经历同样的事情～
所以我很喜欢问我另一半的过去～
我想要知道他的过去是怎样的～
然后尽全力不让他过回以前的生活～
所以～
我的另一半～
如果我问起你的过去，
千万不要因为害怕我胡思乱想而不告诉我你真正的过去～
因为我想要你比以前快乐~
想让我们都幸福~

101010

Hhhmmm... Almost 1 month didn't update my blog le o... haha~ many thing say but lazy type so didn' update my blog... haha~All right... Few thing want to share with u all today...
10/10/10- Yeah Yeah~~ 101010... A wonderful date... Today, me, Dannis, Nicole, Cheryl Lim, Cheryl Tan, and Alvin joined the NIKE RUN- We Run Kuala Lumpur... Over night at Nicole's home because me need to wake up early and go to Kepong Central on the next day(10/10/10). 4.30am, Nicole wake us up... After prepared everything, went to take KTM to Kepong Central... Cheryl Tan and Alvin were waiting us there. Alvin and Cheryl fetch us to KLCC... When we reach there... Hey... Who are them? Oooo... Our college student... They joined this nike run too... haha~ OKAY~ stop with this bla bla thing... start run lo... OMG!!! 5 km... Shit Shit Shit!!! Didn't exercise for almost 1 year then now run 5km... Geng lo.... haha~ 5km... Run it... I know i can do it... Along the journey, Dannis always beside me, accompany me until i finished the run.... Thank you Dannis~ Haha^^ Finally... Finally...God Bless me... I finished 5km within 1 hour by half run half walk.... Thanks GOD!!! After finished the 5km run, we get souvenier at the destination... 2 "CUTE" nike doll... Haha~ But I lost 1 of it... SAD (T.T) While waiting to go, took photo lo... haha~A memorable day~ After that, we went back to Kepong having our breakfast with Marco and Tien Xia lo... Then we went to Cheryl's new house's club~ Take bath and sitting there chit chat... Dun know until what time... went back home lo.... 101010, I wont forget... The day im with u... I'm in a relatonship with Dannis on this day... Hope u are my last... Okay... Finished story 101010. Now is 11/10/10... My leg pain until i feel like want die... Have class today...have to go and need to stand for whole day... Oh Golly!!! Help me><" Hhhmmm.. All right... Time went fast... This few week, nothing special... And now is already November... OMG!! November... Few more week will be the end of this semester... so fast... like learn nothing in this semester... Exam is coming... But what in my brain is nothing... No eyes see for this semester results... what can i do now is just do revision at home and do my best for thee exam... Hope my CGPA can over 2.0 this time... GAMBATEH!!! Dun noe what im thinking now... Feel like want give up this course. But I cant... STAY STRONG CINDY!!!! You can do it... This word always in my mind... STAY STRONG!! I CAN DO IT!!! okay okay okay... stay strong.... i can do it...

我生气了！！！！！！！！！

首先我要说的是，我在blog写什么要经过你的允许吗？我没叫你看啊~我写什么是我的自由~如果你不喜欢你可以选择不要看~我没拿枪指着你叫你一定要看~拜托你看了后就静静~不要像狗那样在那边吠！！！我写什么你有意见吗？要你管吗？这些都是我的心里话~怎样？你现在是不爽还是怎样？说啊~有本事你就直接当面对我说~
为什么你就是这样？每天自以为是~你真的以为你自己很厉害吗？以为每个人都一定也要听你的吗？以为每个人都很喜欢你吗？我告诉你，并没有！！！你不是真的很惹人喜欢！！！请你检讨下自己！！！人不是长得很好看~又不是真的很聪明~说人简单~你自己更简单~你以为你很了解我吗？我告诉你，你错了！！！我并不是你想象中的简单~我没有你想象中的笨~我没有你想象中的脆弱~不要真的以为你自己很了解我！！！！！我不出声，是尊重你~不要伤害你~不要拆穿你~我给台阶你下~不让你难堪~

笑，是因为太痛苦~不笑，我怕我会受不了

有时候，真的不知道自己在想什么？
告诉自己，不要再因为他而掉眼泪~
可是为什么？
当我听到这些消息，
我还是忍不住掉下眼泪？
为什么当我知道你故意在躲我的时候，
我会觉得心好痛，觉得很难过？
为什么我还是会哭？
为什么心里还是酸酸的？
我告诉自己，
失去你并不算什么~
失去你，我并不是一无所有~
失去你，
不需要太难过~
一些都会过去~
我还是我~
不需要太难过~
失去你，
不可以哭~
失去你，
我的生活还是要过~
失去你，
我应该过得更好~
可是...
为什么？
为什么看到你的时候，
那些画面就会不经意的浮现在我的脑海里？
看见你，我就想起你是怎么对我好~
看见你，我就会想起你是怎么对我撒谎~
看见你，我就会觉得自己是笨蛋~
竟然被你骗了都不知道~

当我知道你骗我的时候，
说真的~
我真的很难过~
很难过~
心会很痛，很痛~
真的没有想过你会骗我~
我真的很傻~
想起当初，
你时常对我说，
我是个很简单的人~
小事情就可以让我开心一整天~
小事情就可以让我伤心一整天~
你不告诉我太多东西，
是因为不想我想太多~
不想我难过~
不希望我不开心~
不要我担心~
就因为这样，所以你对我撒谎了吗？
是这样吗？

有时候真的觉得很累~
累得我不想再去面对这些事~
累得我不想去面对将来~
累得我想放弃自己~
累得我想要放弃一些~

那天，我又哭了~
我以为自己可以不在乎你了~
我以为想起你的时候，我不会再心疼~
可是为什么知道这些事的时候突然有种莫名的痛？
为什么我又哭了？
坐在车上，想到我们怎么都变了？
搞不懂，我们到底怎么了？
想着，我又哭了~
静静坐在车上~
一个人躲起来哭~
不然别人看到~
害怕别人知道我又哭了~
害怕别人看到我有多么的脆弱~

在所有朋友面前伪装自己~
害怕他们看见自己有多难过~
害怕他们看见我掉眼泪~
不管多难过，
在朋友面前，
我很努力要自己保持微笑~
我要自己笑得很开心~

有多少人知道，
这些笑声背后隐藏了多少的痛苦和眼泪？
把自己真实的一面收在别人看不见的地方~
带着伪装的笑容去面对人~
明明心里是很难过，却还要笑着面对所有事~
其实，这样很痛苦~

笑，是因为太痛苦~
不笑，我怕我会受不了~

it's late

now...
the clock is showing 3.40am...
but i still in front of my laptop...
facing my facebook...
my blog...
my mind...
thinking something...
Cant fall in sleep...
Dun noe why...
Feel like something will happen...
UNEASY!!!
what will happen?
What i'm thinking right now、
I noe i'm scare now...

today...
i received a call..
From my ex bf...
Not J But R...(R is my ex bf b4 J...dun get confused)
he called me today...
Suprised with this...
juz to greet me...
lol...
He said tomorrow he come to kl....
And maybe he will come n find me...
Suddenly...
I scare...
What I scare?
I dun noe...
This is the reason why i cant sleep even now is 4 am and i hav class at 8.30am?
Erm....
I also dun noe~

What's in my mind now?
something flash back~
R?
NO!!!
It's not R!!!
It's J!!!
All the memories...
Everything...
Flash in my mind...
STOP IT PLEASE!!!!
Again...
My tears drop out again...
Dun noe why...
Someone can help me?

18-19/9/10

Today...
Wake up 9am something...
CRAZY!!!!
Nothing to do but still wake up early...
Siao liao la....
first thing I do...
Sure open my laptop and log in to facebook la...
Then go brush tooth la...
Bored lei...
Whole day faced FACEBOK...

Actually I'm waiting someone come and fetch me out de~
but dun noe what time oni he come...
so juz play facebook while waiting for him lo....
Finally...
4pm something...
He say he is on the way le la~
Prepared everything and go out...
over night at his house tonight...
Din back home o...

Where we go?
hhhhmmmmmm...
Go to his house eat steamboat lo...
Paiseh la...
I tot juz with his family...
shit...
Not only his parents n brother sisther o...
His uncle aunty all also there...
OMG!!!
Reach there only he told me...
Shit!!!!
The 1st step I step into his house...
His mother said...
Shee Yang bring his gf come o...
OMG!!!
Aunty a aunty....
Dun misunderstand lei...
We juz friend...
aiyo...
Paiseh paiseh la~
haha ~
After ate...
Shee Yang fetch me to 21st century to lim teh n c the view...
Not bad but it's rain so we cant c the view ><>

17/9/10

Today...
early in the morning...
My mum wake me up...
Asked me stand by because my uncle was on the way...
Where I want to go?
Actually...
My Grandpa was sick...
His hands...
His legs was swollen~
My heart was paint when I saw him...
His skin was dry...
How was he become like this?
Nobody know that...
He was sick for few day dy...
Few days din eat...
Juz sleep at home...
My grandma was worried about him...
She told me that she dream that all my grandpa's friends who pass away were come and find my grandpa...
My grandma was scared...
I know...
grandma...
Grandma....
Stay strong...
Grandpa will be fine...
He wont let you alone to face this world...
Because he LOVE you...
He will always beside you...

About 10am something...
Uncle reach and we go kl after prepared everything...
Fetch grandpa to hospital to have a body check....

1pm something...
We reack kl...
Grandpa said that he feel like want to vomit...
Uncle stop his vehicle aside...
My grandpa vomit...
And...
I vomit too when saw him vomit...
USELESS CINDY!!!!

1.30pm...
we rech Tung Shin Hospital...
It's lunch time...
We need to wait until 2pm only can meet doctor...
Waiting...
Finally...
2pm...
Nurse call 1 by 1...
We are no.5...
our turn...
Register...
Nurse call name then go in...
Doctor Kuan...
Go in...
He asked situation of my grandpa...
uncle told doctor everything...
and asked to have a whole bady check...
Doctod agreed to do that...

Waiting for body check...
After that...
wait for report..
After take report...
meet doctor again...
doctor said evrything is fine...
Mayb is only the skin problem...
suggest us to check with skin doctor...

make sure everything ok...
Then fetch me back to wangsa maju...
having dinner with them near my house...
After dinner...
They back to pahang lo...

hope Grandpa will be fine....

16/9/10

go back to PAHANG today...
bored at wangsa maju~
3pm de bus...
hhhmmmm...
Waiting time to pass~
very slow lei!!
Finally...
3pm...
My seat-No.4~
same wif last time...
Same seat...
Same time...
Same way...
Suddenly...
i miss you so much~
and...
My TEARS...
Drop out again...
STOP IT Cindy Yap!!!!
I told myself...
Used the hand that u had holded b4 to wipe my tears...
STOP cry...
But...
my tears still came out NON-STOP...
But...
You won't know...
I'm thinking of you along the way back to Pahang...
Can't stop...
Dun noe y...
IDIOT!!!!
Maybe...

After 2 and half hours...
Reach bus stop...
Call my dad come to fetch me....
Wait abt half an hour...
Damn...
Bored lei~~~
Daddy faster come la...

When I reach home...
i go find my grandmother...
She was very happy when saw me...
The 1st question she asked was: where is ur boyfriend?Why he didn't followed u come back？
When she asked this question, she have a very nice smile on her face...
I know she like him...
I know what she hope...
I looking at her...
Dun noe how to tell her that we are broke...
What I said was...
He is working and busy... So can't back with me...
But the truth was we are broke up...
Grandma... I'm sorry because I'm a lier...
i lie you...
I really dun noe how to tell you the truth...

My grandma told me her story...
How she accepted my grandpa...
How they faced all the problems...
Both of their family disagree they couple...
But at last...
They still married...
Because they lve each other...
They faced every poblem together...
They not give up because of each other...
They strive for their future...
They stay strong because oh each other...

The reason why my gandmother told me her story is because she want me to treasure...
She always hope that she can c me when I get marry...
She hope to c me wear wedding dress...
She hope me can get a good husband...
She hope me to be a good wife...
She hope me happy always...

But...
Grandma...
Sorry that I make you dissapointed...
I din treasure the one who love me and care ma...
I din treasure the time when he was beside me....
Sorry that I din tell you the truth....

SORRY...

13-15/9/10

Finally back to wangsa maju...
My bed... My home... My laptop... My facebook...
Miss YOU all SO MUCH~~~~
rest at home this few day...
Tired after the non-stop trip to PORT DICKSON, CAMERON HIGHLAND, SEMINYIH(fishing)~~~
And now at home...
Rest for few day...
damn bored man...
Wan go out but no one fetch me out...
PITY me... T.T

12/9/2010-fishing

haha~
Today go fishing with Shee Yang, Lawrence, Marco and Wen...
So so so hot man...
what weather is it?
2.30pm until 6.30pm...
Time go slow...
Suddenly...
raining...
OMG!!!
after rain stop...
Go back home lo...
What we get along that 4 hours?
WE GET NOTHING!!!!
SHIT!!!!
Haha~
But...
still have a fun day with them...

10-11/09/2010-pd

今天去port dickson啦~
Shee Yang, Lawrence, Marco, Wen, Tien Xia还有我啦~
两辆车去~
忘了什么时候到达啦~
去租resort咯~
Glory ... Resort~
不是很记得名字~
风景还不错啦~
晚上去海边走走~坐坐~
然后就去游泳池玩水咯~
很好玩~
也玩得很开心~
到最后，
security来了~
赶我们走哦~
他来的时候，
我们也玩够了啦~
也要回房休息了~
因为~
已经一点多了~
回到Resort~
去冲凉咯~
然后跟Shee Yang, Wen, Lawrence, Marco喝酒咯~
到三点多去睡觉~

11/9
今天九点就起床了~
刷了牙，洗好脸~
就跟Shee Yang去海边走走咯~
拍了蛮多照片的~
开心~
十一点多，
回去Resort咯~
一点前就要check out了~
回到去~
Lawrence他们也起床了~
收拾好东西~
就离开咯~
去吃早餐~
然后就去另个海边咯~
那边的海水比较干净啦~
去到那边~
下水去咯~
抓螃蟹~
好多小螃蟹哦~
超可爱的~
还捡了一些漂亮的贝壳~
玩到不知几点，
就回kl咯~
回家路途中，发生了一点点的意外啦~
还好都没事~

这次的trip...
很开心~
我也承认，
有的时候，
我还在想他~
但是~
想想~
也算了~
想到会哭~
哭了也就算了~
我应该过得更好~

8/9/2010

又来了~
我又来了~
对不起~
我没有好好照顾自己~
对不起~
我没有听你的话~
对不起~
我又做了那件事~
对不起~
我让你失望了~
可是不知为什么~
今天又有那个冲动~

或许，
你们不知道我做了什么~
知道这件事的人，
只有一个~
而我，
也知道自己这样子很不对~
我不应该这样~
对不起~
如果真的有一天，
我有什么事~
也是我自己造成的~

对不起~
我没听你说话~
对不起~
所有关心我的人~
对不起~
我真的很没用~

这几天

星期五-
今天不知为什么~
很不舒服~
一直想吐~
上了一堂的课~
其他的都没去了~
在recreation room睡着了~
醒来，
想吐~
去到厕所，
却吐不出~
头很晕~
很痛~
感觉全身没力气~
每一次想吐却吐不出~
讨厌~
结果在厕所晕倒了~
还要麻烦人家把我抬出来~
paiseh啦~
哈哈~
marco & shee yang 在我回家~
回到家~
也没留在家休息~
跟他们出去了~
cameron highland~

星期六-
早上7点check in酒店~
1点就要check out了~
睡了两个小时我就起身了~
走路出去买东西~
等他们起床~
再出去吃东西，
到处走走~
傍晚就回kl了~
找tien xia~
晚上不知几点，
回shee yang的家~
在他的家过夜~

星期日-
没什么特别~
起床~
去吃东西~
回shee yang家休息~
傍晚 去打篮球~
然后去吃晚餐~
回家睡觉~

星期一-
四点多起身，
回自己家，
准备去学校~
去到学校~
也忘了自己做了什么~
12点半~
去上课~
上完课~
去hostel~
喝酒~
一直笑不停~
傻了~
很迟睡~

星期二-
早上觉得不舒服~
头晕~
头痛~
没去上课~
吃早餐~
然后就去leisure mall走走~
突然想煮菜~
买菜回去hostel煮~
这一天~
很幸福~
五个帅哥厨师煮给我吃~
开心~
吃饱~
没多久~
回自己家了~
上网upload照片~
然后睡觉~

去走走咯

今天很早就起床咯~
然后就去学校咯~
7.15am就到学校了~
8.30am的课~
哈哈~
然后就去mamak吃早餐咯~
roti bakar + limau ais~a
我的早餐~
哈哈~
hhhhmmmmm~
然后就回学校上课咯~
pastry class~
今天学了french baquette~
OMG！！！
好硬哦~
但是里面是软的啦~
哈哈~
还不错吃~
还有就是dough&dinner rolls~
嘻嘻~
蛮好吃的~
差不多一点多才放学~
两点还有课~
还要冲凉~
不知赶得及吗？
哈哈哈~
但是，还好啦~
赶得及~
没有迟到哦~
去到ict lab，
老师都还没来~
就online facebook咯~
哈哈~
两点半了~
老师还是没来~
朋友打去问~
才知道...
原来老师生病了~
没来~
yeah~~~
没课了~
哈哈~
回到recreation room坐着休息下咯~
没多久就睡着了~
四点~
shee yang放学了~
然后就跟shee yang, lawrence 还有nicole去买衣服咯~
我只是去走走看看啦~
最近破产了~
不能再买衣服了~
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈~
五点多就回学校咯~
没多久就回家了啦~
回到家，7点~
哈哈~
就上网写blog了~
哈哈~
今晚，
突然想去走走~
嘻嘻~
就这么决定啦~
wangsa maju的朋友，
今晚如果看到有个女生在外面到处走，
不要以为是那些东西哦~
哈哈~
是我哦~
嘻嘻~
今晚出去走走咯~~~

25/8/2010

倒霉~~倒霉~~

今天啊~~一早…我竟然跌倒~没看到路边有石头~结果不小心踩到~然后就跌到了~~~

OMG!!!!!!!!痛痛痛痛！！！！！！！！流血了~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

24/8/2010

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1今天坐巴士回家的时候，竟然遇到好色老伯！！！！！！！！！！！！！！
SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!那么老了~竟然还那么好色！！！！！！！！！！！！！气死我了~~~~~~~~~~~他竟然坐在我旁边，看A片~~~~~~~~~神经病！！！！！！！！！！还用他的脏手碰我！！！！！！！！！！！！！~！@#￥%……& 气死了！气死了！！！！！！！！！！！
女生们以后搭巴士真的要很小心哦~~~~现在的人真的是~~~~~~~~~~~~心理变态的！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

13/8/2010

今天做完工没回家哦~
哈哈~
因为我又去当朋友的模特儿，让她化妆啦~
嘻嘻~
很喜欢今天的妆~
照片迟点再upload上来吧~
哈哈

Bridal make up~~

哈哈~
今天没有做工~~
开心^^
因为...
哈哈哈~
要去当朋友的模特儿，让她化妆啦~
ermmm...
一早就起床了~
睡不着~
嘻嘻~
等朋友准备好，
我们就出门咯~~

去到那我才知道要化新娘妆~
最最最开心的是...............
哈哈~
我可以穿婚纱哦^^
化好后，拍了很多照片~~
喜欢~~~
可惜的是....
男朋友不能来啦~
不然的话，
一定跟他一起合照---------------------T.T-

拍完后，
我还跟我男朋友说，
我以后都不穿婚纱，不跟你拍婚纱照了~
哈哈~
他也知道我只是开玩笑的啦~
好啦~
今天就到这里咯~
88~~

终于考完了！

哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈！
阿哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈！
我疯了吗？
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈~
并不是啦~
是我太开心了~ (*^__^*) 嘻嘻
终于，考完试了！

放假咯~~~
超开心的~
hhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmm
想想哦....
四个月...
四个月，很快过哦~
就这样，
一个semester就过了~---------------------o(≧v≦)o~~好棒

在这四个月里，
说真的，
我还是没变----------------------⊙﹏⊙‖∣
我依然是那个爱玩的我~
哈哈~

四个月里，学到了什么？？？(ˇ?ˇ) 想～
ermmmm....
erm....
ermmmmmmmmmmmm....
好像都没有~ #^_^#
就学到wine service咯~
什么是service？？？
怎样serve人咯~
还有....
table setting...
basic cutting...
roux...
等等...
好像还学到蛮多的~ <(￣︶￣)>
哈哈~

在这四个月里，过得开心吗？为什么？
-很开心~因为我认识了很多朋友~
当然...
也认识了他，我的男朋友~
哈哈~
朋友们对我都很好~
在我需要帮助时，他们都会帮助我~
朋友们，我爱你们~ muackzzz ^^

四个月，
说长不长，说短不短~
四个月，
我找到一个爱我的人~
四个月，
我把他放下了~
四个月，
我发现了很多东西~
包括...
认识久的朋友不一定是一个可以谈心的朋友~
一个可以谈心的朋友，不一定是认识很久的朋友~
并不是每个人都会珍惜人与人之间的友情~
在乎你的人，并不一定是你在乎的~
你在乎的人，并不一定是在乎你的人~

哎哟~~
干嘛啦？
干嘛突然好像很伤感的感觉~
不要不要不要~

erm...
还有...
四个月里，
应该没什么事发生了吧？
哈哈~
不管啦~
反正，
这四个月不是白过的就好了~
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈~♥♥♥♥♥♥❤❤❤❤❤❤